Help Me to Unmute You

Why are you so political? You dont exactly say what you want to express. I am dumb for being irresponsible of your acts toward my feelings. I need your words desperately. Like I need eight glasses of water every day.

Why are you here now?

You mute yourself in front of my dying eyes. You are removing my sense of wanting your affection. Your smile is now killing my brain. You smile! You smile! You smile! Say a word, you idiot! I want your explanation, answer and your act. My God!

You hurt my present. My time is running out but you don't understand that. I am drowning in my pain right now. Waiting for you is torturing my knees while I want to fall on them. I really do, but it hurts.

My body hurts. My head, my shoulders, my belly, my thigh, my knees, my toe. But my chest is still alive. It is still in its perfect condition of being very fit. Can you believe that? After all you've done to hurt me?

My chest is still here.
My heart is still beating.
Normally.
Like it's never been hurt.

You know what does that mean? I fall for you. Every day. Still. Until the undecided time of this world.

To My Dearest 6 Years Red Smoke

As i am resilient to this unidentified sensation inside my burning body. I will not make any effort to get out of it. I am too relunctant to understand this uncertain notion Ive had since years ago. By way of expressing longing to each other, youre introducing me to this  weird way but  significantly nudging.

Thus, the unseen restraints weve made for each other do not stop us for mentioning the same particular secret divine wish we constantly make before we're lost by the end of our days. Even we do understand that we are the incurable pain in the ass for each other.

Well, dont get me wrong. I dont live off the expectance. I am there in the creation of happiness for myself where I know that faith is there but the arrangement is what always be the mystery. And I cant run anywhere to evade the misery.

I know you hate the idea of me being candor. You know that you do love the idea of leaving your thoughts and feelings as mysteries for me to solve. But I will always emerge like this.

And you always pull out the idea of being mean is what we need. Like a red smoke that always appears in my gloomy day and my horrible night. Like the one I always want to grab on but it's impossible. As you are so captivating this whole time. There you are keep moving dynamically begging to be chased. Thank you for making my heart chained into your Nitrous Oxide.

Meanwhile I am still figuring out whether youre a poison or my antidote.

But you are still beautiful for my dying soul.